Rebecca's Hawaiien dream...
Rebecca let out a sigh as she sat at the dinner table, she let her eyes drift around the kitchen she had just cleaned. Satisfied with the result she slumped down and leaned her head against the back rest of the chair contemplating which room to start on next, closing her eyes while in thought.
It was once again a hot day, the sun was beating against the small Hawaiian home making everyone inside feel like they were at a Hot Spring, the small fan that was on was merely enough to bring comfort. Rebecca was wearing her comfortable short red cotton dress and her flowered apron was perfectly draped in front of it.
As her eyes opened she instantly pulled herself up straight and stood from her seat, making her way to the living room.
‘’is it too much asked to fix a simple AC?’’ she muttered too herself as she moved the fan direction from the kitchen too the living room.
Her Husband Keoni was once again off surfing, and her plead too fix the AC had been pushed aside. Rebecca cringed as the remembrance of their conversation earlier that day, after she had asked if he could fix the machine.
‘’what am I? You’re Slave?!’’ He had yelled loudly, whereby she had replied ‘’It was just a question Ke, I just...’’ ‘’Will you stop nagging?!’’ he had brutally interrupted ‘’does your brain not register calendar dates?!’’ Rebecca had just stared at him confused, not replying to both his questions, He rolled his eyes and continued ‘’ Surf Jam Contest!... Next week! I need to take all the waves I can get!’’ Rebecca’s eyes widened, she looked down and sighed deeply ‘’so you’re going to practice?’’ Keoni here once again raised his voice replying ‘’If I don’t win! We don’t eat! So just shut your trap, okay?!’’ and before Rebecca could blink he had marched his way out of the house.
She muttered after at the memory ‘’always yelling, every second’’ frowning as she started wiping down the furniture with a cloth. She remembered the way he used to be so well.
After 3 months of dating she agreed to marry him, feeling as if he was the one for her, feeling that forever wasn’t long enough to outlast their love. The years past and Keoni changed, the romance and sweetness were replaced with yelling and name calling. The promise he had made to stay loyal to her was broken every week, yes, she had noticed the late night trips, the female perfume scent he came home with, the worst excuses he came up with, including the so called ‘practice’ he mentioned today.
Rebecca remembered the thong she had found in the laundry, which definitely weren’t hers and shivered, mumbling to herself ‘’in my own home…’’ as she started moving some of the furniture aside. She dragged the large vacuum from the closet and placed it in the middle of the floor, quickly she moved a few other things aside as her thoughts drifted to the fights with her husband that weren’t just verbal, she cringed as she remembered the times that he had struck her or even….
Rebecca’s thoughts were interrupted when she felt something touch her leg, she jumped in startle of the sudden touch and quickly turned to the culprit. A smile formed on her face and she playfully frowned ‘’Zachariah Caleb Suvalli, weren’t you supposed to be playing in the backyard young man!’’ She crouched down and softly tickled the little boy that had wanted her attention, the little boy giggled ‘’but I’m hungry mommy!’’ Rebecca smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead ‘’how about a sandwich?’’ she said as she stood up and walked back to the kitchen, her son followed her smiling widely ‘’with peanut butter!’’ He squealed happily. ‘’with Peanut butter it is!’’ Rebecca replied laughing ‘’but only one slice Zach, or you won’t eat your dinner’’ she added as she grabbed the bread and peanut butter from the cabinet. Zach frowned lightly but sat down at the dinner table and patiently waited.
How they grow...Rebecca thought to herself, she started buttering the bread. She remembered the past 5 years as if it were 5 days. After their 2 years of marriage Keoni and herself had been having problems, he had become rougher and she hardly recognized him as the man she fell for, back then she even contemplated leaving him but then she got pregnant. The Beautiful baby boy they got turned everything around, Keoni was once again the man she married, the loving caring man she knew was back and Rebecca thought that all will go well from then on.
A sigh left Rebecca’s lips as she realized how wrong she had been back then, Keoni had even become worse than before Zach’s birth, she would have never thought he was able to lay a hand on her all those years ago. Rebecca glanced back at the dinner table where Zach was moving his finger over the table surface, making, what seemed too her, meaningless shapes as he softly hummed a song to himself. She smiled thinking it was about time to send the Family new pictures of him, he had grown a lot since the last time she had sent them pictures. She jumped as she heard the front door slam closed, turning around fully, seeing Zach also look up from the table.
‘’What the Hell!’’ sounded Keoni’s voice from the living room. He marched towards the kitchen and stood before his Family.
Rebecca saw his clothes all raffled up and many of his buttons were unbuttoned, he had a scaring yet absent look on his face and in his right hand was a bottle of whisky still half filled. She was frightened but calmly said ‘’Ke? What’s wrong?’’ as she leaned up against the sink while keeping her eye on Zach at the table in between her and her husband.
Keoni screamed after hearing her question ‘’Whats wrong? WHAT’S WRONG?!! When I get home I expect my house to be Clean! But I get home and can’t even sit down to watch some TV!!!’’
Zach cringed at his father’s voice, Rebecca quickly called ‘’Zach! Come here!’’ fearing her sons safety. As the boy ran to her Keoni became more angered walking their way ‘’what?! You think I would hurt my own son?!’’ he bellowed.
Rebecca stepped away from the sink slightly creating room behind herself for Zach to hide as she ignored her husband’s question and replied ‘’I was cleaning, but decided to make Zach a sandwich before finishing’’ she pushed Zach behind her and stared at Keoni as he had closed in to inches before her, his look as that of a crazy man ‘’didn’t you just hear what I said! I can’t watch TV!’’ he screamed again, slamming his fist down on the kitchen dresser.
Rebecca jumped slightly with closed eyes at the impact, she heard Zach’s soft whimper behind her and softly whispered to Keoni ‘’your scaring Zach, Ke your drunk, please’’
Keoni’s look became more angered, he was about to blow up screaming ‘’I AM NOT DRUNK! I’M PISSED!’’ Rebecca saw him lift the whisky bottle above his head and reacted on instinct, she turned around and crouched as deeply as she could pulling Zach down with her and wrapping her body around him as a shield closing her eyes tight.
The whisky bottle crashed into pieces as it hit the edge of the kitchen dresser where Rebecca had stood, the combination of Alcohol and fragments of glass rained down on her and Zach crouched down beneath the edge. Zach instantly let out a scream at the impact and started crying loudly. Rebecca hissed as a large piece of glass hit her arm making a large cut in the flesh but ignored it and kept holding Zach trying to calm him.
‘’Will you stop doing that!’’ Keoni yelled, grabbing Rebecca’s shoulders and pulling her up, she quickly let go of Zach letting him grab her.
‘’Mommy!’’ Zach screamed still with tear filled eyes crying loudly
‘’It’s gonna be okay sweetie!’’ she quickly called too him, trying to sooth him from a distance.
Keoni turned her too him and pushed her into the fridge door ‘’I’m NOT going to hurt my son!!’’ he repeated pulling Rebecca away from the fridge and slamming her back into it once again.
‘’Ke, stop it! Please!’’ she called out hoarsely, suddenly feeling something wet rolling down her face
I’m crying?...she thought too herself…when did I start to cry?.. She shook her head, trying to fight the tears back, not wanting Zach to see her like this.
‘’ÝOU STOP IT! You’re always doing this! Making me seem like the bad guy’’ Keoni yelled in her face.
Zach was screaming at a high pitch, crying loudly as he stared at his parents, his scream filled the kitchen.
Suddenly Keoni turned towards Zach letting go off Rebecca yelling ‘’WILL YOU SHUT UP!’’ he walked towards Zach with his hand raised.
‘’No, stop it Keoni!’’ Rebecca yelled, running past him and standing in front of Zach, shielding him again.
Keoni now grabbed her at her throat turned to the side pushing her up against a wall, lifting her body from the ground ‘’I’M NOT GOING TO HURT HIM! He bellowed while Rebecca hung from his hand.
The panic had now struck Rebecca as she hung there, she started to frantically kick her feet and her hands helplessly tried to pull her husband’s hand from her throat, gasping for air.
‘’MAMAAAA!’’’ Zach screamed high pitched, still not moved from his position, his tears still falling endlessly
‘’Shut up!’’ Keoni yelled at him as he threw Rebecca away from the wall.
Her head slammed against the fridge and she fell to the ground. Rebecca coughed loudly as she crawled to her knees, grabbing her throat as if trying to remove the hands that had already been removed, still gasping for air.
Keoni cursed loudly and marched out leaving the house after slamming the front door shut.
Zach knelt down next to Rebecca, and she quickly put her arms around the still crying child, not being able to stop her own tears as well, her forehead starting to throb in pain, she touched the place right under her hairline where she had made contact with the fridge, it stung with her touch. Probably a cut..she thought to herself..turning back to Zach
She whispered softly ‘’No more Zachy, I Promise’’ as she rocked the child in her arms, knowing what her next choice would be.
A few hours later Rebecca heard a car honk outside, she quickly glanced out a window and saw the cab that she had called earlier in front of the house.
‘’Zach! We’re leaving!’’ she called out as she picked up the already packed suitcases of both herself and her son.
The little boy walked up to her, his face was still sad and his red eyes from the earlier crying were still visible.
Rebecca ruffled up his hair a bit with a smile on her face ‘’we’ll be fine now sweetie’’ she said to him, she grabbed the letter she had written for her husband and placed it on the coffee table. She let out a sigh and took Zach’s hand and walked him out of the house, suitcases in hand.
The Cabdriver helped load their baggage and they stepped in
Rebecca took one more look at her home, moving her hair aside, revealing the small bandage under her hairline touching it softly and frowned. She turned to the driver ‘’airport please’’ she said, as she let her hair fall back over the bandage.
She stroked her arm feeling the other bandage under her long sleeve, and looked over to Zach as he stared out the window. She sighed knowing it will be a long trip back home, to La Push…
It was once again a hot day, the sun was beating against the small Hawaiian home making everyone inside feel like they were at a Hot Spring, the small fan that was on was merely enough to bring comfort. Rebecca was wearing her comfortable short red cotton dress and her flowered apron was perfectly draped in front of it.
As her eyes opened she instantly pulled herself up straight and stood from her seat, making her way to the living room.
‘’is it too much asked to fix a simple AC?’’ she muttered too herself as she moved the fan direction from the kitchen too the living room.
Her Husband Keoni was once again off surfing, and her plead too fix the AC had been pushed aside. Rebecca cringed as the remembrance of their conversation earlier that day, after she had asked if he could fix the machine.
‘’what am I? You’re Slave?!’’ He had yelled loudly, whereby she had replied ‘’It was just a question Ke, I just...’’ ‘’Will you stop nagging?!’’ he had brutally interrupted ‘’does your brain not register calendar dates?!’’ Rebecca had just stared at him confused, not replying to both his questions, He rolled his eyes and continued ‘’ Surf Jam Contest!... Next week! I need to take all the waves I can get!’’ Rebecca’s eyes widened, she looked down and sighed deeply ‘’so you’re going to practice?’’ Keoni here once again raised his voice replying ‘’If I don’t win! We don’t eat! So just shut your trap, okay?!’’ and before Rebecca could blink he had marched his way out of the house.
She muttered after at the memory ‘’always yelling, every second’’ frowning as she started wiping down the furniture with a cloth. She remembered the way he used to be so well.
After 3 months of dating she agreed to marry him, feeling as if he was the one for her, feeling that forever wasn’t long enough to outlast their love. The years past and Keoni changed, the romance and sweetness were replaced with yelling and name calling. The promise he had made to stay loyal to her was broken every week, yes, she had noticed the late night trips, the female perfume scent he came home with, the worst excuses he came up with, including the so called ‘practice’ he mentioned today.
Rebecca remembered the thong she had found in the laundry, which definitely weren’t hers and shivered, mumbling to herself ‘’in my own home…’’ as she started moving some of the furniture aside. She dragged the large vacuum from the closet and placed it in the middle of the floor, quickly she moved a few other things aside as her thoughts drifted to the fights with her husband that weren’t just verbal, she cringed as she remembered the times that he had struck her or even….
Rebecca’s thoughts were interrupted when she felt something touch her leg, she jumped in startle of the sudden touch and quickly turned to the culprit. A smile formed on her face and she playfully frowned ‘’Zachariah Caleb Suvalli, weren’t you supposed to be playing in the backyard young man!’’ She crouched down and softly tickled the little boy that had wanted her attention, the little boy giggled ‘’but I’m hungry mommy!’’ Rebecca smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead ‘’how about a sandwich?’’ she said as she stood up and walked back to the kitchen, her son followed her smiling widely ‘’with peanut butter!’’ He squealed happily. ‘’with Peanut butter it is!’’ Rebecca replied laughing ‘’but only one slice Zach, or you won’t eat your dinner’’ she added as she grabbed the bread and peanut butter from the cabinet. Zach frowned lightly but sat down at the dinner table and patiently waited.
How they grow...Rebecca thought to herself, she started buttering the bread. She remembered the past 5 years as if it were 5 days. After their 2 years of marriage Keoni and herself had been having problems, he had become rougher and she hardly recognized him as the man she fell for, back then she even contemplated leaving him but then she got pregnant. The Beautiful baby boy they got turned everything around, Keoni was once again the man she married, the loving caring man she knew was back and Rebecca thought that all will go well from then on.
A sigh left Rebecca’s lips as she realized how wrong she had been back then, Keoni had even become worse than before Zach’s birth, she would have never thought he was able to lay a hand on her all those years ago. Rebecca glanced back at the dinner table where Zach was moving his finger over the table surface, making, what seemed too her, meaningless shapes as he softly hummed a song to himself. She smiled thinking it was about time to send the Family new pictures of him, he had grown a lot since the last time she had sent them pictures. She jumped as she heard the front door slam closed, turning around fully, seeing Zach also look up from the table.
‘’What the Hell!’’ sounded Keoni’s voice from the living room. He marched towards the kitchen and stood before his Family.
Rebecca saw his clothes all raffled up and many of his buttons were unbuttoned, he had a scaring yet absent look on his face and in his right hand was a bottle of whisky still half filled. She was frightened but calmly said ‘’Ke? What’s wrong?’’ as she leaned up against the sink while keeping her eye on Zach at the table in between her and her husband.
Keoni screamed after hearing her question ‘’Whats wrong? WHAT’S WRONG?!! When I get home I expect my house to be Clean! But I get home and can’t even sit down to watch some TV!!!’’
Zach cringed at his father’s voice, Rebecca quickly called ‘’Zach! Come here!’’ fearing her sons safety. As the boy ran to her Keoni became more angered walking their way ‘’what?! You think I would hurt my own son?!’’ he bellowed.
Rebecca stepped away from the sink slightly creating room behind herself for Zach to hide as she ignored her husband’s question and replied ‘’I was cleaning, but decided to make Zach a sandwich before finishing’’ she pushed Zach behind her and stared at Keoni as he had closed in to inches before her, his look as that of a crazy man ‘’didn’t you just hear what I said! I can’t watch TV!’’ he screamed again, slamming his fist down on the kitchen dresser.
Rebecca jumped slightly with closed eyes at the impact, she heard Zach’s soft whimper behind her and softly whispered to Keoni ‘’your scaring Zach, Ke your drunk, please’’
Keoni’s look became more angered, he was about to blow up screaming ‘’I AM NOT DRUNK! I’M PISSED!’’ Rebecca saw him lift the whisky bottle above his head and reacted on instinct, she turned around and crouched as deeply as she could pulling Zach down with her and wrapping her body around him as a shield closing her eyes tight.
The whisky bottle crashed into pieces as it hit the edge of the kitchen dresser where Rebecca had stood, the combination of Alcohol and fragments of glass rained down on her and Zach crouched down beneath the edge. Zach instantly let out a scream at the impact and started crying loudly. Rebecca hissed as a large piece of glass hit her arm making a large cut in the flesh but ignored it and kept holding Zach trying to calm him.
‘’Will you stop doing that!’’ Keoni yelled, grabbing Rebecca’s shoulders and pulling her up, she quickly let go of Zach letting him grab her.
‘’Mommy!’’ Zach screamed still with tear filled eyes crying loudly
‘’It’s gonna be okay sweetie!’’ she quickly called too him, trying to sooth him from a distance.
Keoni turned her too him and pushed her into the fridge door ‘’I’m NOT going to hurt my son!!’’ he repeated pulling Rebecca away from the fridge and slamming her back into it once again.
‘’Ke, stop it! Please!’’ she called out hoarsely, suddenly feeling something wet rolling down her face
I’m crying?...she thought too herself…when did I start to cry?.. She shook her head, trying to fight the tears back, not wanting Zach to see her like this.
‘’ÝOU STOP IT! You’re always doing this! Making me seem like the bad guy’’ Keoni yelled in her face.
Zach was screaming at a high pitch, crying loudly as he stared at his parents, his scream filled the kitchen.
Suddenly Keoni turned towards Zach letting go off Rebecca yelling ‘’WILL YOU SHUT UP!’’ he walked towards Zach with his hand raised.
‘’No, stop it Keoni!’’ Rebecca yelled, running past him and standing in front of Zach, shielding him again.
Keoni now grabbed her at her throat turned to the side pushing her up against a wall, lifting her body from the ground ‘’I’M NOT GOING TO HURT HIM! He bellowed while Rebecca hung from his hand.
The panic had now struck Rebecca as she hung there, she started to frantically kick her feet and her hands helplessly tried to pull her husband’s hand from her throat, gasping for air.
‘’MAMAAAA!’’’ Zach screamed high pitched, still not moved from his position, his tears still falling endlessly
‘’Shut up!’’ Keoni yelled at him as he threw Rebecca away from the wall.
Her head slammed against the fridge and she fell to the ground. Rebecca coughed loudly as she crawled to her knees, grabbing her throat as if trying to remove the hands that had already been removed, still gasping for air.
Keoni cursed loudly and marched out leaving the house after slamming the front door shut.
Zach knelt down next to Rebecca, and she quickly put her arms around the still crying child, not being able to stop her own tears as well, her forehead starting to throb in pain, she touched the place right under her hairline where she had made contact with the fridge, it stung with her touch. Probably a cut..she thought to herself..turning back to Zach
She whispered softly ‘’No more Zachy, I Promise’’ as she rocked the child in her arms, knowing what her next choice would be.
A few hours later Rebecca heard a car honk outside, she quickly glanced out a window and saw the cab that she had called earlier in front of the house.
‘’Zach! We’re leaving!’’ she called out as she picked up the already packed suitcases of both herself and her son.
The little boy walked up to her, his face was still sad and his red eyes from the earlier crying were still visible.
Rebecca ruffled up his hair a bit with a smile on her face ‘’we’ll be fine now sweetie’’ she said to him, she grabbed the letter she had written for her husband and placed it on the coffee table. She let out a sigh and took Zach’s hand and walked him out of the house, suitcases in hand.
The Cabdriver helped load their baggage and they stepped in
Rebecca took one more look at her home, moving her hair aside, revealing the small bandage under her hairline touching it softly and frowned. She turned to the driver ‘’airport please’’ she said, as she let her hair fall back over the bandage.
She stroked her arm feeling the other bandage under her long sleeve, and looked over to Zach as he stared out the window. She sighed knowing it will be a long trip back home, to La Push…
A New Phase
A groan leaves my lips as I lift my hand to my forehead, gripping the steering wheel tightly with the other. What was wrong with me? I stared at the road in front of me seeing it swivel from side to side, I softly mutter to myself ‘’hang in there Becs, your almost there’’. My hand reaches for the car window and I open it slightly, the hot, humid feeling I have not ceasing at all. As the cool breeze hits my face I hardly notice it as the heat hardly allows me to breath, feeling nausea flaring up as I pull up to the house. As I turn off the car engine I lean my forehead against the wheel and let out a sigh, breathing heavily. ‘’Damn, this must be the flu’’ I sigh, as my body tries to catch itself.I didn’t get in contact with any viruses at Forks hospital, not since I started working there as a Nurse, but then what was wrong with me? A soft moan leaves my lips as the nausea kicks back in. I slowly step out of the car and walk towards the house I now share with my dad and Jake, trying not to wobble all over the front yard as I walk up to the house.
I suddenly look up as the front door opens, putting up a smile as Rachel walks out with Zach.
‘’Hey Rach, where are you headed?’’ I say in the most cheerful way I can, giving a smile at Zach as he runs up to me.
‘’Hey…Becca.. why are you back from work so early’’ she stutters as she sees me, confusion and worry in her face.
‘’I didn’t feel so good, so I came home to rest’’ I smile as Zach pulls at my shirt and tries to tell me about his day, but my eyes are on Rachel, wondering why she has that look on her face.
‘’ooh..okay, you…want to come with me and Zach? We’re going to take a little beach walk.’’ She smiles, but it’s a clear forced one, I narrow my eyes,
‘’I said that I don’t feel good, Rach..what’s wrong?...’’ giving her a serious look, she sighs and walks up to me, softly whispering.
‘’Jake and Billy are at it again..’’ she glances down at Zach before going on ‘’I wanted to get the little guy away from it, you’re welcome to join.’’
I role my eyes as I mumble ‘’no, I’m good, I really just want to lie down a bit’’ with those words I walk up to the house, hearing Rachel call after me ‘’Are you sure?..some air might do you good!’’
A frown comes upon my face as I open the door and hear the loud voices, causing my head to pound. I lift my hand to Rachel, and wave her away as I walk into the house and close the door.
Billy and Jake had been fighting a lot the past weeks. Apparently, Jake wanted to leave La Push with the Family of his Girlfriend, the Cullens. Billy went crazy when he heard about Jake’s decision to leave, he said that he couldn’t just leave La Push like that, and Jake kept saying that he had to stay with Nessie, his girlfriend, and that his choice was final.
They’ve been having that argument for weeks now, and to be honest I still don’t understand.
Jake is 24 years old, it might be time for him to leave the house, but near everyone I talk to seems to agree with Billy, they might not admit they do, but it’s clear.
As I approach the living room the yells become more hearable. I take off my jacket as I listen to them
‘’Dad, you know I can’t just let Nessie go, this is a choice I have to make!’’ ‘’the Pack needs you, Jake, you can’t just ‘up and leave!’ You have responsibilities!’’ ‘’They‘ll be fine without me!’’ …silence..
I role my eyes at hearing them, they were –again- talking about that ‘’pack’’ thing, something I couldn’t know about apparently.
I’ve heard them talk about it multiple times when they didn’t know I was around or listening, and every time I asked what it was about they would tell me to forget about it. It frustrated me, especially because they would talk freely when Rachel was around, was –everyone- keeping something from me? Even Kim Conweller, one of my best friends here at the Rez, and also working at the same Hospital as I, seemed to know something.
Anger starts to rise as I think of these facts, Why was I the only one out of the loop, why won’t they share it with me, it feels like I’m the only person in the Rez that is clueless about what’s going on with my –own- family..
‘’I need to do this, Billy..’’ ‘’we need to discuss this with the others first ’’
Suddenly something snaps and I step into the living room ‘’Discuss what?! What is the big deal, Jake wants to leave home!! He’s an adult, Dad!’’
Both Jake and Billy freeze at my voice echoes across the living room, Jake then turns away from me and leans against the table, most probably sulking about his talk with Billy. Billy turns to me with a surprised look ‘’Becs!..how long have you been home?!’’
‘’just go there, Dad..’’ I role my eyes at his subject change, he’s been doing that every time I gave my opinion about this subject ‘’that’s it! explain this to me, Billy!’’
He gives a confused look, my glare deepens ‘’Why can’t Jake leave the Rez? Why is it –so- important for him to stay? Why is everyone being so mysterious about this!!’’ feeling my frustrations have stacked up, and that I’m at my limit, clenching my fists as I look at Billy.
‘’it’s nothing Becs, forget about it.’’ he looks away from me and Jake glances at him from the corner of his eye. I see their eyes meet in a slight frown making my frustration rise, feeling enraged, all my feelings about the last weeks finally surfacing. Nnot knowing anything what was going on with my own family making my body shake in anger.
‘’it’s not nothing?!!’’ I yell ‘’why won’t you just tell me what’s going on then?!! You’ve been hiding something since I got here!!’’ my fist clench as I yell at Billy, my glare on him but once in a while glancing at Jake. They both stare at me concerned, clearly not knowing what to say to me
‘’Becca, Calm down okay’’ Jake mutters ‘’it’s fine, really..’’ his eyes not meeting mine.
A deep frown forms on my face as I walk up to him forcing him to look me in the eye ‘’then tell me what your hiding!!’’ as he once again turns away I can’t take it any longer, stomping my way to the back door, slamming it open and rushing out.
I hear both Jake and Billy follow me outside
‘’Becs!! Wait!’’ ‘’leave me alone Jake!!’’ I yell back at him ‘’your hiding something! And I don’t know why!! I don’t know what! And It’s pissing me off!!’’ feeling my body tremble in anger, having never felt like this, seeing nothing but a blur though my rage as I stare at the ground beneath me.
Suddenly feeling a hand on my shoulder ‘’Becca, your shaking..’’ Jake’s concerned voice pushing my rage over the edge, pushing his hand off ‘’DON’T TOUCH ME!! DON’T GIVE ME THAT WORRIED LOOK! YOU’RE THE ONE DOING THIS TO ME! YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE MY FAMILY!’’
Turns away from him running off, furious, my body give in to the trembling sensation, like it’s falling apart, I close my eyes and just run. Feeling a shiver run through my body and the earlier heat spread throughout my entire body. A shock runs through me, as if my body explodes, expands, I fall forward, but just keep running, my thoughts only on how betrayed I feel how they don’t trust me, they keep things from me, not understanding at all why.
~REBECCA!!~ I suddenly hear in my head, Jake’s voice, in my head? Why? I open my eyes and suddenly realize I’m running horizontally, I look down at my hands seeing huge paws in the place where they're supposed to be.
I immediately stop in my tracks frantically glancing at myself, seeing nothing but fur when I turn my head. Suddenly paying attention to my surroundings hearing more, seeing better, scents in the air that I’ve never noticed, confusion runs over me, not understanding what’s happening, was I going insane?
~Becs! ~ a huge wolf jumps from a bush towards me, I jump back shocked by the huge animal, not able to move I stand watching.
The animal tilts it’s head slightly ~Becs, it’s me, Jake, relax..~
my eyes widen as I hear those words in my head ~what the hell…~ I think to myself, questions gushing through my head; what was happening to me? why was a –Wolf- telling me it was my brother? Why did I hear it in my head? Why does it sound –exactly- like my brother? Feeling like my head is about to burst.
The wolf gives me some kind of bark, near a chuckle ~That’s what I’ll have to explain, sis, and a lot of explaining too…~
I suddenly look up as the front door opens, putting up a smile as Rachel walks out with Zach.
‘’Hey Rach, where are you headed?’’ I say in the most cheerful way I can, giving a smile at Zach as he runs up to me.
‘’Hey…Becca.. why are you back from work so early’’ she stutters as she sees me, confusion and worry in her face.
‘’I didn’t feel so good, so I came home to rest’’ I smile as Zach pulls at my shirt and tries to tell me about his day, but my eyes are on Rachel, wondering why she has that look on her face.
‘’ooh..okay, you…want to come with me and Zach? We’re going to take a little beach walk.’’ She smiles, but it’s a clear forced one, I narrow my eyes,
‘’I said that I don’t feel good, Rach..what’s wrong?...’’ giving her a serious look, she sighs and walks up to me, softly whispering.
‘’Jake and Billy are at it again..’’ she glances down at Zach before going on ‘’I wanted to get the little guy away from it, you’re welcome to join.’’
I role my eyes as I mumble ‘’no, I’m good, I really just want to lie down a bit’’ with those words I walk up to the house, hearing Rachel call after me ‘’Are you sure?..some air might do you good!’’
A frown comes upon my face as I open the door and hear the loud voices, causing my head to pound. I lift my hand to Rachel, and wave her away as I walk into the house and close the door.
Billy and Jake had been fighting a lot the past weeks. Apparently, Jake wanted to leave La Push with the Family of his Girlfriend, the Cullens. Billy went crazy when he heard about Jake’s decision to leave, he said that he couldn’t just leave La Push like that, and Jake kept saying that he had to stay with Nessie, his girlfriend, and that his choice was final.
They’ve been having that argument for weeks now, and to be honest I still don’t understand.
Jake is 24 years old, it might be time for him to leave the house, but near everyone I talk to seems to agree with Billy, they might not admit they do, but it’s clear.
As I approach the living room the yells become more hearable. I take off my jacket as I listen to them
‘’Dad, you know I can’t just let Nessie go, this is a choice I have to make!’’ ‘’the Pack needs you, Jake, you can’t just ‘up and leave!’ You have responsibilities!’’ ‘’They‘ll be fine without me!’’ …silence..
I role my eyes at hearing them, they were –again- talking about that ‘’pack’’ thing, something I couldn’t know about apparently.
I’ve heard them talk about it multiple times when they didn’t know I was around or listening, and every time I asked what it was about they would tell me to forget about it. It frustrated me, especially because they would talk freely when Rachel was around, was –everyone- keeping something from me? Even Kim Conweller, one of my best friends here at the Rez, and also working at the same Hospital as I, seemed to know something.
Anger starts to rise as I think of these facts, Why was I the only one out of the loop, why won’t they share it with me, it feels like I’m the only person in the Rez that is clueless about what’s going on with my –own- family..
‘’I need to do this, Billy..’’ ‘’we need to discuss this with the others first ’’
Suddenly something snaps and I step into the living room ‘’Discuss what?! What is the big deal, Jake wants to leave home!! He’s an adult, Dad!’’
Both Jake and Billy freeze at my voice echoes across the living room, Jake then turns away from me and leans against the table, most probably sulking about his talk with Billy. Billy turns to me with a surprised look ‘’Becs!..how long have you been home?!’’
‘’just go there, Dad..’’ I role my eyes at his subject change, he’s been doing that every time I gave my opinion about this subject ‘’that’s it! explain this to me, Billy!’’
He gives a confused look, my glare deepens ‘’Why can’t Jake leave the Rez? Why is it –so- important for him to stay? Why is everyone being so mysterious about this!!’’ feeling my frustrations have stacked up, and that I’m at my limit, clenching my fists as I look at Billy.
‘’it’s nothing Becs, forget about it.’’ he looks away from me and Jake glances at him from the corner of his eye. I see their eyes meet in a slight frown making my frustration rise, feeling enraged, all my feelings about the last weeks finally surfacing. Nnot knowing anything what was going on with my own family making my body shake in anger.
‘’it’s not nothing?!!’’ I yell ‘’why won’t you just tell me what’s going on then?!! You’ve been hiding something since I got here!!’’ my fist clench as I yell at Billy, my glare on him but once in a while glancing at Jake. They both stare at me concerned, clearly not knowing what to say to me
‘’Becca, Calm down okay’’ Jake mutters ‘’it’s fine, really..’’ his eyes not meeting mine.
A deep frown forms on my face as I walk up to him forcing him to look me in the eye ‘’then tell me what your hiding!!’’ as he once again turns away I can’t take it any longer, stomping my way to the back door, slamming it open and rushing out.
I hear both Jake and Billy follow me outside
‘’Becs!! Wait!’’ ‘’leave me alone Jake!!’’ I yell back at him ‘’your hiding something! And I don’t know why!! I don’t know what! And It’s pissing me off!!’’ feeling my body tremble in anger, having never felt like this, seeing nothing but a blur though my rage as I stare at the ground beneath me.
Suddenly feeling a hand on my shoulder ‘’Becca, your shaking..’’ Jake’s concerned voice pushing my rage over the edge, pushing his hand off ‘’DON’T TOUCH ME!! DON’T GIVE ME THAT WORRIED LOOK! YOU’RE THE ONE DOING THIS TO ME! YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE MY FAMILY!’’
Turns away from him running off, furious, my body give in to the trembling sensation, like it’s falling apart, I close my eyes and just run. Feeling a shiver run through my body and the earlier heat spread throughout my entire body. A shock runs through me, as if my body explodes, expands, I fall forward, but just keep running, my thoughts only on how betrayed I feel how they don’t trust me, they keep things from me, not understanding at all why.
~REBECCA!!~ I suddenly hear in my head, Jake’s voice, in my head? Why? I open my eyes and suddenly realize I’m running horizontally, I look down at my hands seeing huge paws in the place where they're supposed to be.
I immediately stop in my tracks frantically glancing at myself, seeing nothing but fur when I turn my head. Suddenly paying attention to my surroundings hearing more, seeing better, scents in the air that I’ve never noticed, confusion runs over me, not understanding what’s happening, was I going insane?
~Becs! ~ a huge wolf jumps from a bush towards me, I jump back shocked by the huge animal, not able to move I stand watching.
The animal tilts it’s head slightly ~Becs, it’s me, Jake, relax..~
my eyes widen as I hear those words in my head ~what the hell…~ I think to myself, questions gushing through my head; what was happening to me? why was a –Wolf- telling me it was my brother? Why did I hear it in my head? Why does it sound –exactly- like my brother? Feeling like my head is about to burst.
The wolf gives me some kind of bark, near a chuckle ~That’s what I’ll have to explain, sis, and a lot of explaining too…~
